“A poor man had no land and prayed to God for some land. God appeared to him and told him that all that he could cover from dawn to dusk would be his land.
The man set off the next morning without sleeping a wink. Though he had covered enough land to satisfy his needs, very soon, he began to run and run filled with a desire to own more land, more than anyone else.
By dusk he had covered a lot of land. But he fell down dead, exhausted.
Usually this is the story of most of our lives.
Desires that are real and are born out of a genuine need will have their own energy and will sustain them.
However, most of our desires are created out of jealousy and have a negative energy.
When we are not able to bear the excellence of others, we get jealous. Comparison is the seed, jealousy is the fruit.
Comparison and jealousy are actually non-existent. We create such thoughts ourselves and talk endlessly on how to overcome them.
Imagine that the room you are in is dark. Can you remove it if you wanted to?
Can you take it to another room? Of course not.
The reason is that darkness has a negative existence. It does not really exist.
If you bring light into a room, the darkness will at once cease to exist. In the same way, jealousy has a negative existence. You cannot deal with it directly. Even if you tell yourself repeatedly not to feel jealous, you cannot overcome it. If you queue up all the people in the world in an ascending order of money, where would you be?
You will be somewhere in the middle. You will not even be able to count the number of people who are on either side of you in the queue. Now, you will have to decide if you are going to look at the queue in front of you and feel jealous or look at the queue behind and feel relaxed and grateful to God.
Everything is in your hands.
We will never face failure if we live our lives competing with ourselves. Win yourself with yourself, never with others.
Every minute of comparison with others is a waste of time in the path of progress. A great problem in the rat race is that even if you win you are only a rat. To stop comparisons, you need to be aware of your own worth; you need to realise your uniqueness without being proud..”
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Personal growth and team performance
Hey buddy can you upgrade the system available in the xxx server. Yeah sure, I can do that. Nevertheless I am waiting for the go ahead signal from abc. He has sent me the mail already. Can you fwd the mail. You are there in the mail chain. No I am not there in the mail chain. See this is the mail I received (Actually the mail is from somebody else for another activity). Alright I shall do what ever you say (You are not going to listen to me even if I try to explain. You just want to give me some work even if there is no work. You think that I am soo dumb that I will trust your words. Unfortunately I donot trust you because of this behaviour).
Hi mate, there is a P1 issue raised in the server stating that there is an issue created due to the upgrade process we started. Your name comes into picture as we are using your id for the activity. I mentioned that I am waiting for the go ahead from the person abc for this upgrade process. You forced me to do it saying that he sent a mail. Now that a P1 issue was raised whatever activity we did today goes waste. Over and above it creates a negative impression about the team here to others. We could have avoided this situation had we trusted each other atleast professionally. From my past experience with you I understand that you work for your personal growth and give a damn about others. You want to make use of them. Arguable you are not concerned about their personal growth and success. This makes you a below average manager. You might perform better had u been concentrated on developing these skills. Its high time you start looking into this.
Hi mate, there is a P1 issue raised in the server stating that there is an issue created due to the upgrade process we started. Your name comes into picture as we are using your id for the activity. I mentioned that I am waiting for the go ahead from the person abc for this upgrade process. You forced me to do it saying that he sent a mail. Now that a P1 issue was raised whatever activity we did today goes waste. Over and above it creates a negative impression about the team here to others. We could have avoided this situation had we trusted each other atleast professionally. From my past experience with you I understand that you work for your personal growth and give a damn about others. You want to make use of them. Arguable you are not concerned about their personal growth and success. This makes you a below average manager. You might perform better had u been concentrated on developing these skills. Its high time you start looking into this.
Self Confidence By 11 Simple Rules
Self confidence gives us the freedom to commit mistakes and cope with failure without making us feel worthless. If only we have confidence in ourselves, can we gain confidence of others. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that’s being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held his or her head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something.
So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here’s some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on.
Let’s start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.
Recognize your insecurities: We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesn’t come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone.
Identify your successes: No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
Be thankful for what you have: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it’s emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Be positive: Avoid self-pity or sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior–they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others.
Dress sharp: Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you don’t look good, you don’t feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes.
Walk faster: Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
Compliment other people: When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
Take the front seat: Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don’t be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.
Speak up: It’s a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Work out: A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way.
Smile: Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence.
So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here’s some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on.
Let’s start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.
Recognize your insecurities: We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesn’t come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone.
Identify your successes: No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
Be thankful for what you have: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it’s emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Be positive: Avoid self-pity or sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior–they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others.
Dress sharp: Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you don’t look good, you don’t feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes.
Walk faster: Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
Compliment other people: When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
Take the front seat: Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don’t be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.
Speak up: It’s a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Work out: A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way.
Smile: Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence.
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